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How To Hire The Worst Plumber In The World

The last thing you want when you find that your basement has flooded or your toilet is clogged is someone to show up at your door prepared only to waste time and charge outrageous, unnecessary fees. But oftentimes we do not prepare ahead of time, and we approach the decision to hire a plumber as if it does not really matter. Keeping your pipes and plumbing system in good working order requires much more than simply opening the phone book, closing your eyes, and pointing. If we are not willing to do some homework and make a little bit of an effort, we should be prepared to hire less-than-stellar service to get the job done.

How do you go about hiring the worst plumber in the world? What should you never look for in a professional service contractor? If you really have no preference when it comes to who works on your plumbing, follow these tips:


First, make sure you wait until the very last minute to research local businesses and hire an experienced plumbing company. If you want to know what a bad experience with a plumber looks like, do not even consider looking into finding out about reputable professionals in your area until the sink backs up and floods the kitchen.


Second, do not ask around to others for their referrals and recommendations. If someone you know has had a great experience with a plumbing company, refuse to get the information and do your own online research. If others have had a positive experience, do you really want to have the same?


Third, do not ever read others’ opinions online or check out reviews of any local plumbing companies. Do not visit the Better Business Bureau ratings page. Do not ever go to the Best Plumbers website. All of this research will be a waste of your time in your search for the worst plumber in the world. Does it really matter what ratings a company receives on Angie’s List or Home Advisor?


Fourth, when you do call your last-minute-emergency-plumber, make sure you do not ask for a contract work order in writing. Anything that is in writing will only protect you and guarantee less complications in the future, so do not even ask. As for estimates, skip the businesses that offer free ones; can any company be so willing to work that they would come out for no charge at all?

Licenses and Insurance

Finally, if you are looking to hire the worst plumber in the world, do not be proactive, do not do your research, do not ask around, and definitely do not inquire about licenses or insurance. Any certifications are probably overrated anyway.

When the worst plumber finally shows up on your doorstep, which should be late and without good manners, he or she should make a vague comment or two related to the plumbing problem, then waste time reading the newspaper. When the job is not done, you will be charged exorbitant amounts of money for a few hours’ work and unnecessary parts.

If your goal is to hire the worst plumber in the world, be sure to follow the above tips. Finding the right professional, with a reputation for timely service and honesty, can be a daunting task.

Any old plumber will do, right?


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